I do not know - don't ask, but after today's shenanigans at the hospital in the emergency department, that is all that comes to mind.
Today's 3 hours of volunteering was jammed packed. I have to share my experiences with you, so here are my top 5 patients of the day:
In at number 5 - Beautiful 90 year old woman VERY hard of hearing (and with no help with my circumstance). With a magnifying glass, she read everything I wrote down with her tiny magnifying glass before she signed her belongings checklist. She was very cute and I had a giant smile on my face and my heart. Very cute.
4. The speechless, grunting 90 year old. She simply doesn't speak, so it doesn't matter that she can't hear me. I offered her a warm blanket on two seperate occassions, juice and a magazine, and I got nothing, just a blank stare (this was before I knew she didn't speak). Do you call that a job well done?
3. The steno pad - This patient visits the ER frequently. She travels with patient #1 below - I am kidding - but nonetheless is a common sight around the ER. This patient claims that there is video surveillance set up in her home, that additional surveillance is following her around the city, and that people are following her and harrassing her every which way she goes in the city. She also hears voices and claims that her phone lines are being tapped. The list goes on the steno pad, maybe?
2. My friends in bed 12A. Really, I made friends. They are what I would call my first real connection with a patient and their spouse. The patient had a feeding tube in their nose (which I can relate to, having had my fair share of artificial food supply in my day). We exchanged stories, and immediately that glorious cliche sounding "ahhhhhhhhh" like the window 96 welcome message came on in my head (maybe I deserve to make the top 5 patient list?).
1. The frequent flier - quasi idiot servant. An ex-professor at a California university (I can't say much more due to HIPPA). Nurses call him a frequent flier because he is in about 160 times a year, yes, per year. He constantly seeks psychiatric treatment, which is provided, only to turn around and check himself back into the ER. He has a Ph D in 4 different science fields, apparently there is a fine fine line between brilliance and insanity. He characterized himself as a melancholic depression, completely unable to function. However, he didn't stop talking, wanted to know nothing about his physical health, wanted to be provide ONLY mental health information. Refused to speak with nurses and refused to eat. Spoke in incomplete sentences. Imagine a turbulent freight train coming into a station at 100mph, that is what he sounded like, and possibly his mind felt like that as well.
Being in the ER today was pure exhilaration, like being in a symphony of sights and sounds, unorchestrated but heavily moderated. It was by definition, controlled chaos at it's finest.
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