After 7 years and 8 month I had a stint of about 15 minutes last night of "Normal voice."
I wanted to titled this "My Voice has returned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" but I didn't want to jinx my voice or get ahead of myself, but for a span of about 15 minutes last night laying in bed before Brett and I went to sleep, my voice was coming through LOUD and CLEAR!
It seems the less I try to force a voice, the better off it is sounding. It sounded like I just had a plugged nose or was just getting over being sick. Now with that said, some of you might say, that's how you always sound - Brett did - but this was more clear than my voice has ever been since my car accident happened 7 years ago!
As we were laying in bed, I started singing Christmas carols! Frosty The Snowman and Jingle Bells and while it wasn't loud first, it got loud and Brett - trying to fall asleep - got annoyed. To his defense, he was sweet about it and exhausted from a long day at work. He was so sweet, when I asked him how good it sounded - he said, you always sound like that to me. To clarify, I didn't always sound THAT GOOD! I was so excited, I could barely contain myself - 7 years!! To finally hear the sound of some of my words was really too good to be true. I had a hard time believing what I was hearing and I let myself only get excited for a few minutes - I felt like calling everyone I knew at 11pm. I did call my Dad and left him a message so he could hear!
I'm hesitant to even post this blog - I don't want to jinx my voice but I think it might be safe to say that the surgery is being to show and I hope signs of marked improvement continue to come! YAY!
February 4, 2011
January 29, 2011
1 Day Post-Op
"Patient is an extremely pleasant 28 year old female status post MVA in May of 2003..."
Yesterday, as I was being pre-op'd for my procedure, in which my surgeon planned to increase the diameter of my airway and place a steriod injection in my left vocal fold - I read through volume 3 of 3 of my medical file. Every patient history page started off with the quote from above - which is a reflection of 1 of 2 things... the truth or pure laziness. As I sifted through the hundreds of pages - now knowing where to look and what to look for due to my clincal experience through nursing school - I found something incredible.
As we go through life, it is SO easy to forget the amazing barriers we've traversed our ways around. It's SO easy to simply forget all that we have been through and what we have overcome. We tend to focus on the future, where we are going, what we are doing with our lives, what we need and want for ourselves and so fourth that it is so easy to forget where we have been, what we have been through, and most importantly, what we have overcome.
As I read back through my charts dating back to Decemeber 2003, I read things like "Pt eagar to have trache removed..." May of 2004... "Pt complaining of SOB at rest and inability to excercise." As I read through numerous other accounts over the years of my surgeon perception of my circumstance, it was clear as day to see the progress I have made to the present day. SOB at rest is NOW non-exsistence (well, a little right now between my excitement over life and the edema/swelling in my throat from the procedure). And exercise intolerance? I'm swimming, biking and running miles at a time!!! All this happened while I was busy trying to "get my voice back."
Sure, when I look at today, and where I would like to be - singing, laughing out loud - yelling... it makes me well up inside with the loss I have suffered, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I also well up inside with happy tears thinking about how far I've come, how much I've endured - and how I would do it all over again and not change a thing about myself or my life.
I think we as humans forget to think about where we've come from, what we've endured and we forget to give ourselves pats on the back for the accomplishments that we have achieved and the heartache and loss we have endured that we indirectly cause a greater disservice to ourselves. We fail to reflect on who we have become.
We all know that our experiences not only shape the way our brains think and the way we operate. However, we overlook the importance of self-reflection which make our experiences null. If we do not celebrate who we are and what we have achieved and what our hardships have pulled out from deep within us it makes the process incomplete.
One of the greatest challenges in life is giving ourselves enough credit that we deserve and basking in the glory that is our own existence the good and the bad.
As I woke in the recovery room, I met with the head nurse of the Ear Nose and Throat Clinic at UC Davis. My surgeon put me in contact with her to discuss the opportunity of joining their team upon graduation. I immediatley recognized her from my initial stay at UC Davis and rehabilitiation process. She immediatley recognized me as well saying... "You were so independent and stubborn." I didn't know if she was talking about the time I demanded to have my trache taken out - only to have it placed back in 2 1/2 weeks later aftering waking up at 3am not being able to breath calling 911. Or the fact that I would use the red cap to plug my trache, run until I couldn't breathe and then unplug the trache to enough air into my lungs. Or the time the doctors took my feeding tube out and I could finally eat a real meal. The Doctors instructed me to start off with soft foods such as puddings, yogurt and apple sauce and continue on a liquid diet with protein shakes as a base. Once we left the hospital that day a trip In-N-Out Burger was in order.
Maybe a more honest history of present illness should read "Patient is an extremely pleasant 28 year old female status post MVA in May of 2003...who is bound to get her voice back due to her independent and stubborn nature." But for now, I will focus on what I know. I've come a long way and I have a long way to go.
Yesterday, as I was being pre-op'd for my procedure, in which my surgeon planned to increase the diameter of my airway and place a steriod injection in my left vocal fold - I read through volume 3 of 3 of my medical file. Every patient history page started off with the quote from above - which is a reflection of 1 of 2 things... the truth or pure laziness. As I sifted through the hundreds of pages - now knowing where to look and what to look for due to my clincal experience through nursing school - I found something incredible.
As we go through life, it is SO easy to forget the amazing barriers we've traversed our ways around. It's SO easy to simply forget all that we have been through and what we have overcome. We tend to focus on the future, where we are going, what we are doing with our lives, what we need and want for ourselves and so fourth that it is so easy to forget where we have been, what we have been through, and most importantly, what we have overcome.
As I read back through my charts dating back to Decemeber 2003, I read things like "Pt eagar to have trache removed..." May of 2004... "Pt complaining of SOB at rest and inability to excercise." As I read through numerous other accounts over the years of my surgeon perception of my circumstance, it was clear as day to see the progress I have made to the present day. SOB at rest is NOW non-exsistence (well, a little right now between my excitement over life and the edema/swelling in my throat from the procedure). And exercise intolerance? I'm swimming, biking and running miles at a time!!! All this happened while I was busy trying to "get my voice back."
Sure, when I look at today, and where I would like to be - singing, laughing out loud - yelling... it makes me well up inside with the loss I have suffered, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I also well up inside with happy tears thinking about how far I've come, how much I've endured - and how I would do it all over again and not change a thing about myself or my life.
I think we as humans forget to think about where we've come from, what we've endured and we forget to give ourselves pats on the back for the accomplishments that we have achieved and the heartache and loss we have endured that we indirectly cause a greater disservice to ourselves. We fail to reflect on who we have become.
We all know that our experiences not only shape the way our brains think and the way we operate. However, we overlook the importance of self-reflection which make our experiences null. If we do not celebrate who we are and what we have achieved and what our hardships have pulled out from deep within us it makes the process incomplete.
One of the greatest challenges in life is giving ourselves enough credit that we deserve and basking in the glory that is our own existence the good and the bad.
As I woke in the recovery room, I met with the head nurse of the Ear Nose and Throat Clinic at UC Davis. My surgeon put me in contact with her to discuss the opportunity of joining their team upon graduation. I immediatley recognized her from my initial stay at UC Davis and rehabilitiation process. She immediatley recognized me as well saying... "You were so independent and stubborn." I didn't know if she was talking about the time I demanded to have my trache taken out - only to have it placed back in 2 1/2 weeks later aftering waking up at 3am not being able to breath calling 911. Or the fact that I would use the red cap to plug my trache, run until I couldn't breathe and then unplug the trache to enough air into my lungs. Or the time the doctors took my feeding tube out and I could finally eat a real meal. The Doctors instructed me to start off with soft foods such as puddings, yogurt and apple sauce and continue on a liquid diet with protein shakes as a base. Once we left the hospital that day a trip In-N-Out Burger was in order.
Maybe a more honest history of present illness should read "Patient is an extremely pleasant 28 year old female status post MVA in May of 2003...who is bound to get her voice back due to her independent and stubborn nature." But for now, I will focus on what I know. I've come a long way and I have a long way to go.
January 16, 2011
I feel changed... not because I know more, but because I know less.
We're home! And thank God!
The trip was amazing - the sights and experience incredible and impossible to put into words. After being gone for a month, taking 15 flights, an adjusting to an 11 hour time zone difference, travelling over 20,000 plus miles, a few skeptical bus rides and intense dreams from prophylactic anti-malarial meds, we're thankful to be home.
I feel changed through our experiences and through the sights of the various countries in Africa, but not because I know more, but because I know less.
This trip was undeniabley the most insane trip Brett and I have or will ever take together - fingers crossed. Africa is a continent like no other. After visiting three countries, Egypt, South Africa and Tanzania we are so thankful to be home - and American. The poverty and quality of life in some parts of Africa that we drove through/saw is heartbreaking.
Most, if not ALL the areas we visit thrive due to tourism. You have Egypt which has the pyramids of course, and most of the individuals make a living either through tourism or agriculture- mainly tourism. South Africa more developed and more first world (we even tasted some of the best wine we've ever had) however, the economy down there has taken a hit due to news that the area is unsafe to travel - which Brett and I unfortunaltey experienced ourselves (more in a bit). Finally, Tanzania is again tourism (Safari and Kili hikes) and agriculture yet the income provided by tourism leaves the country at the hands of foreign investors who own/invest in the safari lodges - they actually fly in the food we were eating because the food would make the average tourist too sick to enjoy their vacation.
In South Africa, we stayed in the Gardens district, which was about a 10-15 minute walk to the VA waterfront. On our first day there (New Years Eve), we left our Guest House and decided to walk down to the VA Waterfront, which we assumed would be perfectly safe, considering it was the middle of the day and light outside. Upon approximently halfway there, after stopping through the local market where touts sell trinkets, carvings and souvieres we continued to make our way through to the waterfront. I saw this neat statue type thing in the shape of a rainbow and wanted to take a photo in front of it. It had a beatifult view of table mountain in the background. As Brett and I were crossing the street, a homeless man approached us asking us for money - not unusual. Brett kindly told him he didn't have any cash, which we didn't pull any of SA currency, Rand, out yet. The gentleman wouldn't leave us alone and actually waited for Brett to take the picture of me and continued to follow us, talking us up, telling us how he "know people like us have money" and to "stop lying and running away from him." Even after Brett continued to kindly tell him we were trying to enjoy our time and that we weren't running from him (just walking really fast) asked him to leave us alone he kept following us and asking us for money. Finally, waving his beenie for money in our faces, he pulled his long sleeved shirt back on his right arm to show a large steak knife. We continued to ask him to leave us alone and his response was that he would leave us alone but keep following us. We grabbed the first cab we saw.
This incident was much scarier than when I type it out, as you're in the moment, in foreign land, foreign and alone, after reading about how unsafe SA is, only to find out the truth was not only heartbreaking but terrifying. We were both quite taken back by the situation - things we thought you only read about, but now here it was becoming our reality. Needless to say, we shook it off and continued to enjoy our day, just a bit more skiddish and aware.
I want to share with you some of the journaling I did while we were over there. I'll post a few in the days to come from the different coutries/lands we were in.
Happy to be home.
The trip was amazing - the sights and experience incredible and impossible to put into words. After being gone for a month, taking 15 flights, an adjusting to an 11 hour time zone difference, travelling over 20,000 plus miles, a few skeptical bus rides and intense dreams from prophylactic anti-malarial meds, we're thankful to be home.
I feel changed through our experiences and through the sights of the various countries in Africa, but not because I know more, but because I know less.
This trip was undeniabley the most insane trip Brett and I have or will ever take together - fingers crossed. Africa is a continent like no other. After visiting three countries, Egypt, South Africa and Tanzania we are so thankful to be home - and American. The poverty and quality of life in some parts of Africa that we drove through/saw is heartbreaking.
Most, if not ALL the areas we visit thrive due to tourism. You have Egypt which has the pyramids of course, and most of the individuals make a living either through tourism or agriculture- mainly tourism. South Africa more developed and more first world (we even tasted some of the best wine we've ever had) however, the economy down there has taken a hit due to news that the area is unsafe to travel - which Brett and I unfortunaltey experienced ourselves (more in a bit). Finally, Tanzania is again tourism (Safari and Kili hikes) and agriculture yet the income provided by tourism leaves the country at the hands of foreign investors who own/invest in the safari lodges - they actually fly in the food we were eating because the food would make the average tourist too sick to enjoy their vacation.
In South Africa, we stayed in the Gardens district, which was about a 10-15 minute walk to the VA waterfront. On our first day there (New Years Eve), we left our Guest House and decided to walk down to the VA Waterfront, which we assumed would be perfectly safe, considering it was the middle of the day and light outside. Upon approximently halfway there, after stopping through the local market where touts sell trinkets, carvings and souvieres we continued to make our way through to the waterfront. I saw this neat statue type thing in the shape of a rainbow and wanted to take a photo in front of it. It had a beatifult view of table mountain in the background. As Brett and I were crossing the street, a homeless man approached us asking us for money - not unusual. Brett kindly told him he didn't have any cash, which we didn't pull any of SA currency, Rand, out yet. The gentleman wouldn't leave us alone and actually waited for Brett to take the picture of me and continued to follow us, talking us up, telling us how he "know people like us
This incident was much scarier than when I type it out, as you're in the moment, in foreign land, foreign and alone, after reading about how unsafe SA is, only to find out the truth was not only heartbreaking but terrifying. We were both quite taken back by the situation - things we thought you only read about, but now here it was becoming our reality. Needless to say, we shook it off and continued to enjoy our day, just a bit more skiddish and aware.
I want to share with you some of the journaling I did while we were over there. I'll post a few in the days to come from the different coutries/lands we were in.
Happy to be home.
January 1, 2011
Happy New Year from Cape Town, South Africa!!!
Brett and I spent our first New Year together A&A - abroad and alone. After taking three flights to get down to South Africa - Capetown (we flew 1 hour from Dahab, Egypt to Cairo, Egypt then after a three hour layover flew 8 hours from Cairo to Joburg, South Africa with another three hour layover and then flew from Joburg to Cape Town which was 2 hours...).
Needlessto say - we weren't too tired to immediatley hit the grounds here in Cape Town and put our tourist hats on! We walked through the amazing Dutch and European style streets and visited some local markets. The people here are filled with love and have a lot of energy and spirit.
We ended up at the VA Waterfront and spontaneously took a sunset cruise on a yatch with bottomless champaign - great New Years Eve combo! We each had four glasses - but who is counting... Then we headed to dinner.
I'd be lying if I said we made it to midnight. After our hectic travels, we actually decided after a sunset cruise and celebratory dinner, we skipped the fireworks, beat the traffic and headed back to our B&B Manor. We did see midnight from the comforts of our "home."
Our cab driver on the way home - unfamilar with traffic apparently - kept saying F&*# Sh*t over and over again and swearing at people with nice cars while simultaneously hollaring at the "beautiful mamas." He told Brett and I that he finds the "right one" ever two months... and then proceeded to scream profanities. Our favorite was "Mother NATURE!" instead of "Mother ..." - well you get the point.
We are happy to be here and out of Egypt - for Egypt (aside from Dahab) was insane. The combination of smog, honking horns, auditory and visual stimulation along with 5 time daily prayers was enough after 4-5 days. The driving is insane was well - the white lines painted on the road are pointless and there are NO traffic laws - NONE... It's UNREAL!
Tomorrow, after a tour of Robben Island (considered the Alcatraz of South Africa) - where Nelson Mandela was held for 30 years, we head to South Africa Wine Country. We are renting a car, scary - well won't say that because Brett is driving, but I will say that they drive on the "opposite side" of the street here, and while I am in the "drivers seat" in the Western World, I will actually be the passenger. Pretty much a metaphor for Brett and I's relationship. After 5 nights - we head to the airport to fly to Tanzania for our game drive! Can't wait!!!
Well, we're off for more adventures. We feel VERY blessed to have safe travels!! Miss all of you dearly!!!!!
XoXo - Brett & Gina
Needlessto say - we weren't too tired to immediatley hit the grounds here in Cape Town and put our tourist hats on! We walked through the amazing Dutch and European style streets and visited some local markets. The people here are filled with love and have a lot of energy and spirit.
We ended up at the VA Waterfront and spontaneously took a sunset cruise on a yatch with bottomless champaign - great New Years Eve combo! We each had four glasses - but who is counting... Then we headed to dinner.
I'd be lying if I said we made it to midnight. After our hectic travels, we actually decided after a sunset cruise and celebratory dinner, we skipped the fireworks, beat the traffic and headed back to our B&B Manor. We did see midnight from the comforts of our "home."
Our cab driver on the way home - unfamilar with traffic apparently - kept saying F&*# Sh*t over and over again and swearing at people with nice cars while simultaneously hollaring at the "beautiful mamas." He told Brett and I that he finds the "right one" ever two months... and then proceeded to scream profanities. Our favorite was "Mother NATURE!" instead of "Mother ..." - well you get the point.
We are happy to be here and out of Egypt - for Egypt (aside from Dahab) was insane. The combination of smog, honking horns, auditory and visual stimulation along with 5 time daily prayers was enough after 4-5 days. The driving is insane was well - the white lines painted on the road are pointless and there are NO traffic laws - NONE... It's UNREAL!
Tomorrow, after a tour of Robben Island (considered the Alcatraz of South Africa) - where Nelson Mandela was held for 30 years, we head to South Africa Wine Country. We are renting a car, scary - well won't say that because Brett is driving, but I will say that they drive on the "opposite side" of the street here, and while I am in the "drivers seat" in the Western World, I will actually be the passenger. Pretty much a metaphor for Brett and I's relationship. After 5 nights - we head to the airport to fly to Tanzania for our game drive! Can't wait!!!
Well, we're off for more adventures. We feel VERY blessed to have safe travels!! Miss all of you dearly!!!!!
XoXo - Brett & Gina
December 21, 2010
It's goodbye to Cairo and hello to Aswan!
After three crazy days in Cairo, and by crazy we mean INSANE, we are happy to be off to Aswan.
Cairo is insanity on wheels. There are horns constantly honking - constant and pedestrians crossing the street like "Frogger." Brett and I have truely experienced our first culture shock. This city is in shambles! The buildings are built out of brick and clay and cement and many do not have roofs. Smog checks don't exist here - that is for sure. However, amist the insanity described above, between the hagglers and the donkey carts alongside the road, lies a genuine nature, once you get past the haggling ofcourse.
Aside from the people, the pyramids were amazing! Breath taking and a sight to be had. We enjoyed our 2 hour camel ride in Giza. It was an amazing experience. My camels name was Alibaba and Brett's camel's name was Mickey - like Mickey Mouse. My camel was sassy and hated laying down for me to get off and occassionally grunted and spit and snorted. We also visited Dashur and climbed down about 100 steps into the bottom of the pyramid - once in there, we could barley breath and the limestone reaked of ammonia, I had a mini panic attack as I felt as though I could not breathe.
Yesterday we travelled by bus 6 hours southwest into the black sand and white sand desert and slept under the stars. We hired a guide and drove us through the desert sand dunes and set up our camp and cooked us lunch, dinner and breakfast. We watched the sunset against a salvador dali backdrop and woke just before sunrise and also made a friends with a fox named Jose that looked just like HURLEY!
Now after three crazy days, we're on to Aswan. We're staying on the Nile and will visit more temples and tombs. After Aswan we are taking a bus to Luxor and then onto Dahab to spend Christmas on the Red Sea.
PS: People think we are brother and sister and are from Spain or Canada.
Cairo is insanity on wheels. There are horns constantly honking - constant and pedestrians crossing the street like "Frogger." Brett and I have truely experienced our first culture shock. This city is in shambles! The buildings are built out of brick and clay and cement and many do not have roofs. Smog checks don't exist here - that is for sure. However, amist the insanity described above, between the hagglers and the donkey carts alongside the road, lies a genuine nature, once you get past the haggling ofcourse.
Aside from the people, the pyramids were amazing! Breath taking and a sight to be had. We enjoyed our 2 hour camel ride in Giza. It was an amazing experience. My camels name was Alibaba and Brett's camel's name was Mickey - like Mickey Mouse. My camel was sassy and hated laying down for me to get off and occassionally grunted and spit and snorted. We also visited Dashur and climbed down about 100 steps into the bottom of the pyramid - once in there, we could barley breath and the limestone reaked of ammonia, I had a mini panic attack as I felt as though I could not breathe.
Yesterday we travelled by bus 6 hours southwest into the black sand and white sand desert and slept under the stars. We hired a guide and drove us through the desert sand dunes and set up our camp and cooked us lunch, dinner and breakfast. We watched the sunset against a salvador dali backdrop and woke just before sunrise and also made a friends with a fox named Jose that looked just like HURLEY!
Now after three crazy days, we're on to Aswan. We're staying on the Nile and will visit more temples and tombs. After Aswan we are taking a bus to Luxor and then onto Dahab to spend Christmas on the Red Sea.
PS: People think we are brother and sister and are from Spain or Canada.
December 16, 2010
Off to AFRICA! We'll be blogging from afar!
Today is finally here!
The anticipation leading up to today has been culminating since June of 2010, when Brett and I booked our R/T airfare to Cairo, Egypt! In some sense, we convinced ourselves that this flight was the "right" flight because it has a 9 hour layover in London. We are going to do some quick sightseeing in London and visit our friends who moved to London in 2007 immediately after they were married, Andrew and Katie. Andrew is Brett's "Buddy" (I put "Buddy in quotation marks because when Brett transfered from the NYC PwC office, Andrew was assigned to be his "buddy" in San Francisco) Needless to say, Brett and Andrew became close friends, and this will be our second time seeing A & K in London.
After our quick layover in London - it's off to Cairo we go. We land in Cairo at 5:15am, two days (with the time change) from now! We will orient ourselves to the city day 1 and day 2 were off to see the Giza pyramids!
Day 3 were are safaring out to the Whitesand Desert to see the blacksand desert, crystal mountains and overnighting under the stars in the middle of the desert - alone! We'll have a guide, don't fear.
Day 4 & 5 include a flight down to Aswan to visit the temples and a bus ride up to Luxor the next day for more temple time. Then it's a flight to Sharm-el-sheik where we will take another bus to Dahab, where we will enjoy a vacation from our vacation on the shores of the Red Sea. Here we will spend the next 7 days, lounging on the beach, skiing sand dunes other possible adventures. We will spend Christmas on the Red Sea! Christmas Eve/Christmas Day we are hiking St.Catherines http://www.desertecotours.com/showimg.asp?img=UploadImg/Pages/eilat_12.jpg
We will be spending New Years Eve in South Africa. We're spending a week in SA and will travel the Western portion of the country by car and southern coast line (visiting the southern most point in SA) along with the Winelands, Table Mountain and Robben Island. We also plan on louging on the beach and swimming with the penguins! I can't wait for that experience! After SA were off to Tanzania.
Our game drive is for a week through the Serengeti and Ngorongoro Crater. We'll have a private guide/tour and are staying in lodges scattered throughout the country and on the rim of the crater. We're also visiting a local tribe the Masia during our visit to Tanzania.
It's going to be a whirlwind of a trip. Brett and I will blog along the way, as many of our friends have asked :) Love you all!!!
Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
The anticipation leading up to today has been culminating since June of 2010, when Brett and I booked our R/T airfare to Cairo, Egypt! In some sense, we convinced ourselves that this flight was the "right" flight because it has a 9 hour layover in London. We are going to do some quick sightseeing in London and visit our friends who moved to London in 2007 immediately after they were married, Andrew and Katie. Andrew is Brett's "Buddy" (I put "Buddy in quotation marks because when Brett transfered from the NYC PwC office, Andrew was assigned to be his "buddy" in San Francisco) Needless to say, Brett and Andrew became close friends, and this will be our second time seeing A & K in London.
After our quick layover in London - it's off to Cairo we go. We land in Cairo at 5:15am, two days (with the time change) from now! We will orient ourselves to the city day 1 and day 2 were off to see the Giza pyramids!
Day 3 were are safaring out to the Whitesand Desert to see the blacksand desert, crystal mountains and overnighting under the stars in the middle of the desert - alone! We'll have a guide, don't fear.
Day 4 & 5 include a flight down to Aswan to visit the temples and a bus ride up to Luxor the next day for more temple time. Then it's a flight to Sharm-el-sheik where we will take another bus to Dahab, where we will enjoy a vacation from our vacation on the shores of the Red Sea. Here we will spend the next 7 days, lounging on the beach, skiing sand dunes other possible adventures. We will spend Christmas on the Red Sea! Christmas Eve/Christmas Day we are hiking St.Catherines http://www.desertecotours.com/showimg.asp?img=UploadImg/Pages/eilat_12.jpg
We will be spending New Years Eve in South Africa. We're spending a week in SA and will travel the Western portion of the country by car and southern coast line (visiting the southern most point in SA) along with the Winelands, Table Mountain and Robben Island. We also plan on louging on the beach and swimming with the penguins! I can't wait for that experience! After SA were off to Tanzania.
Our game drive is for a week through the Serengeti and Ngorongoro Crater. We'll have a private guide/tour and are staying in lodges scattered throughout the country and on the rim of the crater. We're also visiting a local tribe the Masia during our visit to Tanzania.
It's going to be a whirlwind of a trip. Brett and I will blog along the way, as many of our friends have asked :) Love you all!!!
Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
November 25, 2010
Thankfullingness
Especially today, we all talk about the things that we are thankful for, we all stuff ourselves full of turkey and stuffing. One thing we should remember today is to be thankful for ourselves.
Life can be incredible sometimes, and it can be incredibly trying at sometimes. Remembering to be thankful during the difficult times is espeically difficult compared to feeling thankful during the wonderful times.
I LOVE the Katy Perry song "Firework." She sums up being thankful for ourselves in daily life in her lyrics. If we aren't thankful for ourselves, then we won't be able to light up the sky for other people. We can go through trying times, but if we hold on to our true self and allow our pain to be felt, we can "ignite the light and let it shine." We can take our pain and loss and turn it into something productive. Pain is a horrible thing to feel, emotional and physical - neither being easier than the other. Pain, loss, depression has a horrible stimga in our culture. If we show our sadness, greif or pain we are deemed weak. Even our insecurities are looked upon as weaknessess. I'm purposing that if we feel our greif, loss and pain - face our insecurities - it brings out the "fireworks" in us. The deeper we go within ourselves, the brigher we can become.
"If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road"
Today I am thankful for my car accident. I'm thankful that it brough out the depths of my emotions and insecurities and I am thankful that for the past 7 years I have had to live with the loss of my voice. I am thankful for the trache scar on my neck, for it saved my life that day, and I am thankful that my life was spared so I could feel the greif of recovery and all the joy life affords, through the good and the bad. I am thankful for all the ingredients of life, the sweet and the sour, the bitter, hot and cold. For we can't stuff oursleves silly and enjoy all that stuffing and turkey with only some of the ingredients... you need all of them to realize the perfect flavor - whatever that flavor may be.
Happy Thankfullingness!
Life can be incredible sometimes, and it can be incredibly trying at sometimes. Remembering to be thankful during the difficult times is espeically difficult compared to feeling thankful during the wonderful times.
I LOVE the Katy Perry song "Firework." She sums up being thankful for ourselves in daily life in her lyrics. If we aren't thankful for ourselves, then we won't be able to light up the sky for other people. We can go through trying times, but if we hold on to our true self and allow our pain to be felt, we can "ignite the light and let it shine." We can take our pain and loss and turn it into something productive. Pain is a horrible thing to feel, emotional and physical - neither being easier than the other. Pain, loss, depression has a horrible stimga in our culture. If we show our sadness, greif or pain we are deemed weak. Even our insecurities are looked upon as weaknessess. I'm purposing that if we feel our greif, loss and pain - face our insecurities - it brings out the "fireworks" in us. The deeper we go within ourselves, the brigher we can become.
"If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road"
Today I am thankful for my car accident. I'm thankful that it brough out the depths of my emotions and insecurities and I am thankful that for the past 7 years I have had to live with the loss of my voice. I am thankful for the trache scar on my neck, for it saved my life that day, and I am thankful that my life was spared so I could feel the greif of recovery and all the joy life affords, through the good and the bad. I am thankful for all the ingredients of life, the sweet and the sour, the bitter, hot and cold. For we can't stuff oursleves silly and enjoy all that stuffing and turkey with only some of the ingredients... you need all of them to realize the perfect flavor - whatever that flavor may be.
Happy Thankfullingness!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)